I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
