i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So vagazzling was a success
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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