you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
