He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
His nipple licking is glorious
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