I will die if light touches me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
