In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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