He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
