saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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