i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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