Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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