what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
