her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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