We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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