Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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