And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
