I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
that's an acceptable place to lick
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
