Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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