i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
