my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to align my fucking chakras
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