bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
