i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
