Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
