I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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