We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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