He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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