Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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