& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
