You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
