is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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