If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
