i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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