i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
