i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
