So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize