ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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