so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
