I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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