just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do herpes really smell.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
