I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
