Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
