This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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