with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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