that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize