Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
