Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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