I look better un-naked...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
