I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
