M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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