Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
