Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
