You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
