You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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