Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
