Grow some girl-balls and come out already
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We have started to decorate penises.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
