do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
