Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
