I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
