who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
