She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
