How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
