the day after is always just damage control
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
