All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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