Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
