Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
