She's JV to your varsity
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
