I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
