How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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