Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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