does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
