The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
